Monday 23 May 2011

Personal post #1: Call me (by my) names

I stated under the blog name that this is a place where I’ll write about “libraries, careers, life in a foreign country and other things”: the reason being that, although I am an information and library workaholic, this isn’t everything that there is to say about me...and somehow it doesn’t sound right to give you only that side of my life. If you are very focussed librarians and really, really don’t want to know anything else about me, you are welcome to stick to the professional posts – I will clearly mark the personal ones, and I promise I will take no offence.
This first personal post is all about a very basic fact: my real, full, first name is Maria Giovanna.
A first name composed by Maria + something else is quite common in Italy so apparently there’s not much originality in this choice, but the combination of Maria and Giovanna is indeed quite rare and I have met only two people with the same name in my life so far. Maria is basically Mary – I know, you are clever and you already got that. Giovanna (to pronounce Jovanna) corresponds to Joanne or Jane.
The problems with this name didn’t start when I moved to the UK. It was a difficult name in Italy too. It’s long. It’s complicated. And the fact that my surname is also composed by two parts (De and Simone) doesn’t really help.
But the problem really escalated in the UK. Nobody seems to get it right – everybody assumes that Giovanna is a middle name and therefore ignores it completely. I don’t mind being called with nicknames or shortened versions of my name, but what really annoys me is people ASSUMING that my name is just Maria. It particularly drives me mad when I sign an email with my full first name and I receive a reply saying “Dear Maria”. Argh. So, request number one: check other people’s signatures. Make sure you address them the way they want to be addressed.
I do understand that remembering and pronouncing my name is difficult for an English speaker; and as I said, I don’t mind nicknames, so here’s a list of the names I have been given by my friends or family during my life.
  • Mari (to pronounce: maree)
  • Marigio’ (mareejo’, with an accent on the last “o”)
  • Mary Jo (you know how to say this one!)
  • Giovanna (jovanna)
  • Gio’ (= jo)
  • MG (pronounced the English way-phew!)
Feel free to choose the one you prefer. I’d say MG is by far the best for an English speaker and I might adopt it as a real name one day (J.Lo, brace yourself!). So, request number two: ask for the owner’s permission before shortening a name. If the name is long, the owner will be more than happy for it to be shortened – and will love to hear new ideas about it too!
Now you will be wondering: why not "Maria"? And why don’t you just shorten it yourself, and maybe even use your husband’s surname (Colli), which is shorter and easier? Well, "just Maria” feels somehow reductive. Moreover, both my grannies were called Maria, and this makes me feel a bit awkward. I must admit that for quick exchanges (booking the hairdresser; signing for deliveries; etc.) I do use “Maria Colli”. However, for some reason that would require a psychologist’s help to be detected and fully explored, I can’t dump my full first name. It’s long, complicated, terribly Italian, and I didn’t like it when I was younger; but the older I get, the more attached to it I feel. So,  request number three: call me (by my) names, and don’t get offended if I correct you.
Thank you!

*This post is dedicated to Niamh and Katie, who encouraged me to fight for my name; to my husband, who has never shortened it; to the colleagues who make an effort to use it (some of them do!); and to my Mum, who chose it and thus started the whole story.

11 comments:

  1. You're quite right to let people know your name! I'm very inconsiderately making people pronounce my name Nee-uv (or Neev if that's easier). I do know it doesn't make sense if you're thinking in English, but that'll be because it's /not/ English! Diversity is good, etc.

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  2. I was pronouncing it as Neev but I'm going to stick a -uv at the end from now on! You must make me hear the exact pronounciation - we'll have a phonetical training session later on today!

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  3. I amstarting to worry now - i'm sure i've called you maria in an email at least once!! Sorry :o)

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  4. Don't worry Lisa and thanks for reading this ranty post! Actually putting the note and the link below my email signature is really working. Does it mean that if we want to say something in an email, we have to write it in very tiny fonts below our signatures? I'm wondering... ;-)

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  5. Great! I love long names, and do my best to never shorten them! I mean, that is *your name*, not something else! The same goes for name's translation or pronunciation: I hate when people "englify" scandinavian names like Michael, Helene, etc... And also, italian names are so lovely, just try to pronounce them wholly and your tongue itself will notice if you don't.

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  6. Thank you Enrico! You have a "dangerous" name too (could easily be pronounced "Enraico"...brrr) but I think the worst options for Italian male names are Nicola, which is a female name in English, and Michele, which tends to become Michelle. I like your passion for our language; it's been such a struggle for me to be confident and fluent in English, that I have almost overlooked my native language and sometimes I even get the verbs wrong! Shame shame shame...Grazie ancora, e a presto!

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  7. Hi Maria Giovanna!
    I loved your post! I'm also a non-native english speaker and a victim of 'names'. My name is Claudia and surname Luna, but I constantly have the problem of people taking Luna as my first or middle name ("Dear Luna"!)
    Because of my name, I've also been taken for Italian, which I'm not, but funnily enough I'm married to one whose name is more mexican than mine!
    But then, I'm sure that I also make mistakes with other people's names, especially with students who have many and very long names, or those from an Asian origin :D

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  8. Hi Claudia, and thank you for the comment!
    This post about the name issue is by far the most popular in my blog; I must have hit a hot topic here...As I said in a comment above, a trick that works wonders is to put a note below your email signature; I have written "My full first name is Maria Giovanna (not Maria) - more details here", with a link to this post. The number of people who are getting my name right, or at least apologising for getting it wrong in the past, is astonishing. You could give it a try!
    Anyway, did you find me via CPD23? I see you are Cambridge-based...where do you work?
    Cheers, MG

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  9. I'm not surprised your post is in the hot list given the amount of foreign people living in Cambridge!
    Yes, I'm also a Cambridge librarian, currently working at the Judge Business School Library. I did the first Cam23 but I'll be following this year's blogs, is great to see there are a lot of new participants. I hope you enjoy the programme!
    Claudia

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  10. Think the problem is that English names that are multi-part have a hyphen between them as in Mary-Anne. Therefore if a name was given as Mary Anne Jones for example - one would assume that only Mary was the first name, whereas one would know that Mary-Anne Jones meant that the first name was Mary-Anne.
    Sometimes think one can't win with names...after we had suffered various nicknames at school we deliberately chose a name that couldn't easily be shortened for our daughter...to find that they lengthened it instead ;)

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  11. Hi libchris and thank you for your comment, expecially the story of your daughter's name! ;-) I know about the hyphen theory but I can assure you that when I tried to sign "Maria-Giovanna", everyone was still replying saying "Dear Maria". I think the hyphen makes the trick only with pure 100% English names. Putting a link to this post under my email signature worked wonders and as you can see I'm still receiving comments...it's the most popular post in my blog so far. :-)

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